Are you going to write this year?
As usual, I’ll be my annoying self, giving tips and tricks to everyone who ignores me on how to write the worlds worst first-draft possible since all first-drafts are the worst possible. No one ever sat down as a new writer and shat out a pristine first draft where the angels came down from toilet papered fluffy clouds and sang the high praises of the unknown newb author who never wrote a paragraph before, let alone an entire book, who just happened to hit the specific dice roll right on the nose. It doesn’t work that way. Ever. Stop thinking it will. In same vein: how confident are you at a successful brain transplant when you’ve never taken a single class in anatomy and only worked on weekends as a gardener for the sexy MILF in the giant house with the in-ground pool, hoping beyond hope that one movie you saw in high school was a documentary and not some sleazy porno?
Writing takes a gallant effort. It takes patience. It takes dedication, and imagination, and creativity, and a slightly insane outlook on life as a whole, however, it is still one of those unique things in life where anyone can write. Quality depends on how much you want to bleed into revisions and editing the first draft of toilet paper. The biggest benefit of writing? You can suck bad, like “Springtime for Hitler” bad, and still fix it during an edit to make it better.
But any first draft can turn into a golden ticket. It all starts with a terrible first draft.
Are you willing to write a terrible first draft with me? I’m going to write the worst first draft in history.
Tomorrow I’ll start with some outlining tips and tricks for how you can make your best terrible first draft and get that story out of your head that’s been plaguing your nightmares since 2nd grade.
You’re ready for this.
(And if you like, go sign up at http://www.nanowrimo.org and add me as a friend, DrChrisTallant.)