Rebooting a Car. Volt Part One.

volt_int_revision_450So – My attempt with a Chevrolet Volt; a hybrid electric and gasoline powered sedan.
After the kind woman at the check-out counter reads me the equivalence of a motoring Miranda rights about what I can and cannot do in the car, no smoking, no dancing, no gutting fish, only premium gas, only premium electricity, etc…  She hands me a stack of paperwork for my weeklong one-night-stand relationship with this vehicle and dangles the keyfob in front of my eyes.
I walk out into exhaust-filled parking garage and look at a row of a dozen multi-colored Volts and stare back at the keyfob in my hand.  Pressing the unlock button, I look around to see if, maybe, the one I’m standing next to unlocked.
Of course not.
At the far end of the garage, out of the corner of my eye, I notice headlights blinking – a silver Volt winking at me like a spastic cocker spaniel smelling bacon.
Walking up to the car, I hit the unlock button again and all four doors unlock and the annoying blinking light stops.
I cram all 6 foot 6 inches of my 230 pound meat frame into the seat, having to push the manual seat lever back into the rear seats so I can close the door and press the button on the keyfob to switch-blade the key to start the car.  I guess no one will sit behind me then.  Maybe a car-seat if I don’t mind the back of my head having baby Keds imprinted in my skull.
After a quick glance, where the hell do I put the key? Under the steering wheel?  No keyhole.  Maybe in the dash?  Nope.  Center console?  Hey look, there’s at least half-a-dozen power outlets and USB ports around this thing so I could charge and run a mobile server farm – but where do you put the key?
I throw the key in the cup-holder and grip the steering wheel, looking over at the radio.
My thigh is compressed between the steering wheel (which can’t be safe at high speeds, but I can test that later on 75,) and the center console with the television and radio cluster, I see a green rectangular button that says simply “power.”
Could it be that easy?
This is General Motors – no way it’s THAT easy.
I press the button.
Nothing happens.
Of course nothing happens.
I press it again, this time harder.
The screen on the dashboard springs to life and the instrument cluster LCD glows with a knowing “it took you five-minutes to get this far, didn’t it” animated screen displaying the Chevy Bow-Tie logo followed by a Volt logo. I think I just rebooted a car.
Damn thing still never made a sound.
The only noise the car made leaving the parking garage was the tires squealing as I turned onto Atwater.
It’s got some pickup for never turning on the gas engine…
-First impression: Quiet, smooth, a bit cramped for a Sasquatch like me, however it’s got attitude and balls.  I like it.

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