First, there’s a metric ass-ton of drama going on with work involving a multitude of different caveats I can’t speak about at the moment due to political nonsense. No, I’m not running for election, I will give more information when dates and legal has more facts solidified. Until then, just know it’s a pain in the associates the workers have to deal with until everything is finalized.
Second: Health. I could write a good four or five posts about health, but I’ll sum it all in one to make it easy to read and since this will hopefully not grow too long, keep it simple and direct: my health sucks. I had a root canal on my back molar (31) about 10-15 years ago and it has collected bacteria and slowly building an offense to fight back against my mouth. Let’s just say, a few weeks ago, it won by exploding through the gum line and taking out the tooth (30) in front of it. It’s difficult to write/concentrate/think/sleep/urinate/breath/eat without my jaw constantly throbbing in pain. Today was the first day I only took one Vicodin and it wasn’t without a good amount of complaining on my part – my apologies to Marissa. I also started seeing a new Psychologist who threw me on a med called Topamax. I’m still getting used to it, but the random swings of rage and outbursts of what I can only consider people who suffer from tourrette’s must endure daily have finally died down. I also visited an ENT – Ear Nose Throat specialist, who told me my sinuses are filled with polyps and to have a cat scan done to make sure nothing evil is lurking in said polyps. I get scanned by a cat later in the year.
Third: Writing. I planned on doing NaNoWriMo and finishing a few more of the “Fates'” books, however due to the above paragraph, haven’t had the chance. Obviously, I haven’t been writing other stuff either, so my fans of the erotic goodness either have emailed me wanting to know if I stopped writing or decided to do something else… I’m still writing, I still plan on writing, I just need more time.
Fourth: School. School is difficult with time management this time of year with only a few weeks left to go in the semester. I’m still doing great and learning good amounts, but in all honesty, I can tell you I’m getting to the point in Algebra where I look at dividing a polynomial by a factored polynomial and get that little voice in the back of my head telling me “You should really be doing something productive…like vacuuming the cats.”
Fifth: Money. The lack of money and the amount of holidays coming up always makes me depressed. I don’t know why. It always has. I need to speak to someone about better managing money, but until that day happens, I want the best for my kids and my wife and will spare no cost. I don’t think that’s wrong, but apparently the bankers do. I just need to do so within my limits. I was hoping my refund check from the school would show up before christmas, but it shows up after the next semester starts, which is in january… so I’m screwed there.
Sixth: Depression. This one deserves it own since it ties everything together. I get to the point where everything seems pointless and even the littlest effort is wasted. Then I think about what I’ve done and realizing I haven’t done anything since I’ve deduced it all to wasted energy, I feel useless about not doing anything.. it’s a vicious downward spiral that I’ve been in for the past few months. Add constant pain, constant worry, no way to escape and one starts to feel like a caged animal.
So, that’s the update. I tried to keep it short, and I’m going to try making a point of writing something – anything – every day…kinda like what I do on Facebook (if you’re not friends with me on Facebook, add me…it seems to be blocked for some people…not by my design) to keep things flowing and keep people smiling…
P.S. After editing, I decided to say screw it to all the passive voice. It’s 3:30am and I don’t give a damn at the moment.