Day 8? Smoking and Habits.

I’ve lost track of the days I’ve attempted to stop smoking.  The bonus level in the daunting task of smoking cessation has been the complete and utter lack of side-effects from the caffeine withdraws.  The downside has been the side-effects from nicotine withdrawal is horrible at best.

I had a few days off to spend with the kids home from school due to spring break, and each day I smoked 5 cigarettes each.  What I need to do is break the habits of what I’m doing when I’m smoking instead of focusing on stopping the cigarettes altogether.  I use smoking as a way to get out of my head and take a step away from the task I’m working on at the time.  If the twins become too much of a hassle, I can step outside and have a cigarette.  If I’m stuck at a level in a game or on a particularly difficult plot in a story, I can take five and not worry about it for the length of the cigarette.  I see it more as a pause or a mini-break instead of me going outside and sucking down a carcinogen.  Add in the fact the cigarettes help dull the ache of the migraine and It’s a double-edged sword.

My son Chris now is on my case to stop smoking as well.  I applaud his effort, and I will stop smoking for my kids and family, but having him leave me notes and giving me a dirty look when I walk back inside is more like rubbing salt into an open wound and not helping.

As I said earlier, I need to break the habits which make me want to smoke.  If I can focus on those hurdles first, the smoking will stop on their own.  I also don’t want to gain another 1000 pounds by substituting one habit for another as many people trying to stop smoking tend to do.

What I think I’ll turn a habit into is saving or collecting money.  Instead of smoking, I’ll use the extra money to pay bills and get a cushion underneath the family so WHEN the stupid 300M dies, we’ll be able to buy that luxury mini-van we’ve had our eye on for the past 12 minutes.

-aggravatingly,

-me

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