Day 4: Insanity and Madness Set In.

Five days without caffeine or caffeinated pop of any kind to someone who used to drink the stuff like, well, water, is a remarkable feat.  If I could only do the same type of commitment with nicotine and cigarettes I’d be set.

Since Friday the, well, last Friday (since I’m too lazy to find out what date last Friday was) I haven’t touched anything pop-based or caffeine based.  I seem to stick around 3-5 smokes a day still though – mostly due to the habits in which I used to smoke.  Driving to work, after meetings, after lunch…you know, the typical times one lights up and pollutes the breathing area of all those around me.

Marissa did buy me an electric cigarette called an e-cig, I don’t know the exact brand, but it was expensive and it comes in all sorts of goofy-ass flavors, but for driving to work and driving home, I’ve been using the battery-smoke instead of my normal home-rolled or Newports and it’s been helping me stop smoking real burnable cigarettes throughout the day.

The biggest thing I’ve noticed, and maybe this has something to do with the kidney stones – all seven of them – that I tend to me more light-headed and dizzy and the days grow longer.  I stand up too quick and I feel like both throwing up and kneeling over.  I’ve been insane for years and the madness which surrounds the insanity is easily to control – for me at least.  I shut up and pretend to do what everyone else is doing.  If you ask me too many questions and I start talking about what spirits are floating around the hallways and why are people jumping off the top of the building, you know it’s time for me to sit down and let me do something else again.

Maybe this is part of the detox program, I’m not sure.  I didn’t like it back when I was a teenager and I don’t want to revert back to those lonely and desperate times where I started vacuuming the lawn and putting wallpaper on the trees again.

Marissa’s right.  I need to lay down and sleep some of this off.  I first after to shut the Gargoyle (his name is Quezalint) up from singing Sinatra tunes on the side of the house first, but he’s easily swayed with M&M’s.

Where did I put Marshall Mather’s new phone number?  Oh yeah, 586…




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