Son: What are “Brownie points?”
Me: When you do something nice for someone else, it’s a way to keep track of the good deeds.
Son: So, it’s like keeping score for being good?
Me: Kind of, yes.
Son: I thought you said we should be nice for no reason?
Me: Well played, bud. Well played.
Beaten-ly,
-me
I believe I’m going to start cursing in my writing more. Granted, if you’ve read anything other than my kids’ books, you already know I swear from specific points-of-view. I’m more worried about younger people seeing words they don’t understand and not learning proper connotation for the definition of the unknown words.
I’m going to say this here and now, so listen to me twice and read this once: the words themselves mean didly squat – it’s the inflection of the context which makes specific words “bad.” In the immortal words of George Carlin: “There are no bad words, only bad thoughts. The words are fine in and of themselves, it’s how you use them which makes them wrong.” The words are fine; the people are screwed.
I’m going to write a list of “bad” or “naughty” words and try to define them properly for those who may not know the real definition of the terminology. Curse words and swearing in general has been around since the earliest forms of written communication and many “curse” words have been found in Shakespeare and the King James edition of the Bible – although many of the curse words they used are no longer used or believed dirty with other forms of vulgar language. The following is a rudimentary list of “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television:”
Shit: Noun meaning physical excrement of waste (I stepped in shit.) Verb meaning the act itself (I’m shitting.) Generic Noun (Hey, don’t touch that shit.) To show surprise (Holy shit! Look at that there!) In trouble (We’re in deep shit, now.) Displeasure: (This song sounds like shit.) In a positive light (Your mom’s cooking is the shit!)
Piss: Considered a more vulgar term for relieving one’s bladder. ”Peeing” is synonymous with “Pissing.” The most common usage is the verb tense “to piss,” although it can also be used as a noun: “This beer tastes like Piss.”
Fuck: The “Big Daddy” of all curse words. It can be used in any situation and in any sentence ever created. The amount of uses for fuck, fucked or fucking is too many to count or list here. Literally, the word fuck is used in a way to show sexual copulation, however many people who use the word rarely uses it for the standard intended use.
Cunt: Considered the most vulgar word in the world in the year 2000 by Hargraves Institute. I rarely use the word, however there are people who do. (I’m purposely ignoring the Irish jokes…) The word “Cunt” itself refers to the female sexual reproductive organs and can be related to either male or female target.
Cocksucker: A combination word which is a new-age sexual suggestion more than an actual insult, however the act itself was at one time considered a taboo item for popular public speaking. Cock itself refers to male genitalia while sucker is telling someone what to do. A cocksucker in the most literal term would be anyone who have performed oral sex on a man. Rarely is the word used for the literal term.
Motherfucker: This word roughly is defined as “one who has sex with a mother.” Rarely is the term used for this act, instead, the term is used for someone in a negative or derivative light. This is one curse word with the blessing of being invented by Americans and not typically used to refer to a female.
Tits: Literally: breasts. Today, “tits” is used more along the lines as something really great happening such as “this concert is tits!” or “this cheeseburger is tits!” Tits is no longer considered extremely offensive as George Carlin stated back in the late 1970′s: “Tits is more of a cutesy word or a nickname than an actual swear word.” Today, Tits is used in many areas synonymous with breasts.
I know there’s more, however I don’t think I’m going to define every curse word ever made. That would be stupid. Besides, I like leaving on “tits.”
-Tits
-me
P.S. After proofreading this piece of shit, I realized there’s way too many passive voice errors. So fuck it. I’m posting it anyway.
Judgment day is upon us; get off your asses.
I don’t mean “time to finally clean the yard,” or even “I should recharge the A/C in the car.” Something more important is here, and unless you’ve been sleeping in a coma or lived somewhere in Tennessee for the past decade: Diablo 3 hits servers tonight at midnight.
The last instance of Diablo graced the empty binary bits of our Windows 98 second edition hard drives and System 9 Macbooks in 2001. Your mouse is afraid and it has every damn right to unplug from your USB ports and play nice with kitty for a change.
Soon, the world (except for Australia) will be furiously clicking away in the utter darkness to move your new character, pick up gold and other sweet loots and vanquish those evil demons set upon our screens from the most demonic minds in Blizzards’ history. I for one, can’t wait.
I’ll write more about D3 as I stare wide-eyed into the abyss of sleepless nights and blood-pumping multiplayer sessions as I get a chance to move my hand from the crooked hook one gets after you hold your hand in one position for too long.
It’s on, bitches.
Hit me up on battle.net as drchristallant if you want to chat or play along.
Toodles,
-me.
My mom died when I was 14 years old, so Mother’s day is bittersweet. Some people call it a “Hallmark Holliday,” but it still stings.
Here’s my list of things you never want to ask for or tell your mother on Mother’s day:
1. “I’m busy leveling this character, can you put my laundry away?”
2. “When’s lunch? I’m starving!”
3. “You can pretend I signed the card. I went out of my way to buy it.”
4. “Where’s Dad? I’ll go hide with him, you’re mean today.”
5. “I hate you! I wanted to sleep in!”
6. “I’ll clean it up tomorrow.”
Make you’re own!
-me
I hate hospitals. Especially this one I’m sitting in now, waiting for these vampires to take my blood for some tegretol levels. This hospital is where my mom died almost 20 years ago, so I can use that as my reasoning.
Due to a medicine I’m on, I have to have blood drawn every so often to make sure my liver is still doing what its supposed to do. I think if my liver was failing, it would have while I was drinking more, but that’s a different story all together.
I’m also typing this on a galaxy 2s and can’t stand the touchscreen aspect of it. I’m not sure how people do it, except maybe they have smaller fingers… I can palm a bowling ball. Most phones aren’t made for giant hands.
Time to get poked and my blood slowly siphoned out! Wish me luck!
-me
The past few weeks, the 300m has been overheating. I put a few liters of water in it and would get another day. Today, it decided to fight back against my water treatments and pissed out four liters of water in two miles of driving.
The car no longer stalls randomly, although to be honest, I’m not sure what fixed the problem. I ended up replacing the crank and cam sensor, cleaning the throttle body, replacing two oxygen sensors, changing the spark plugs, the ignition coils, the ball joints (which had nothing to do with the issue, I had them in the garage) and even threw a bottle of SeaFoam in the gas tank.
I went this morning to take my entrance exams for college and noticed the issue driving home. It was so bad, the water I filled the tank with was gone by the time I hit 696.
I called everyone I know who can help with cars and no one was available, so my good friend Jack drove me to AutoZone where I picked up a new water pump and timing belt.
I know more about the inner workings of this stupid car than I do about my own body.
To get to the timing belt and water pump, I had to take the front end apart, remove the fans from the radiator and pull the front facia of the engine off where the old parts are located. The old water pump was warped, with the inner O-ring missing from the engine.
It took 5 hours or so, but my brother in law Steve helped get his knuckles bloody as well helping out.
I never want to see another 300m as long as I live.
I hope this fixes it, and I’m going to eat pizza and take something for this migraine.
I’ve been sick the past few weeks with walking pneumonia. Add in the bout of depression where everything was a downward spiral of angst into a tunneling black hole and the two cases of happiness didn’t help with my productivity.
I haven’t done jack. Not that he’d want me to, of course, but I haven’t gotten much work done either.
I’ve helped a good friend of mine out with some of her college papers and trying to get all the paperwork for college taken care of so I can go to school and learn how to properly do things instead of the way I do them. I plan on shooting for a Bachelors of Computer Science and minor in something complimentary to CS.
I also want to get a MacBook Pro for school, and I’m torn between the different models, sizes, blah and keep going back and forth between them all. I want it to bootcamp Windows 7 and OS X, so I know my only option is a MBP, but at the same time it must be powerful enough to play Diablo 3, Warcraft and whatever else I can cram down it’s throat.
As for writing, I have a good idea for a story about Robin Hood told from Prince John’s point of view – if Prince John was gay… It sounds interesting, but the few people I’ve pitched the story to kept trying to chew through the restraints.
I’m going to OD on allergy meds and try to get back to sleep, I wanted to write something down and start jotting stuff again like I do on twitter, so follow me or ask me to move my ass again.
Yawning-ly,
-me
Its strange where I am or what I’m doing when an idea or thought about a project pops into my head. It’s usually when I’m not thinking about anything and doing something boring when the thought strikes as interesting enough to write down.
Some thoughts are dumb, lame or stupid and I can pass it off as a strange thought and go about my day. Others intrigue me enough to try to find a way to remember the premise and then get off my ass to write it down. Meetings and waiting for food to cook are great for these types of plots.
Others pop into my head for no reason at all. As with the previous circumstances, I have to convince myself its something worth saving and attempt to make sense of the scene to put into words. Ideas never come out as direct text or understandable thoughts, only snippets of something which might be interesting later.
Evernote is good for this mental issue of mine. Some might call it creative brainstorming, while I call it “shit jumps in my head for no reason – and most of it sucks.”. After I forget about the idea, I can always go back into evernote and look through the dumb ideas such as:
“A woman who dresses like a hooker in daylight goes around changing burned-out light bulbs. When someone approaches her for hooker services, she shoves dead light bulbs into their mouth until they die, and she steals their money to buy more light bulbs.”
Not too much I can do with that since it seems too lame for even me to write about.
Lightbulb-ly,
-me
Tomorrow I go to talk to an Administration Specialist about getting into college and trying to get financial aid to work on getting a Bachelor’s degree, than an Associate Degree and eventually a Doctorate. Still not sure what to specialize in yet, although I know I want to focus on computer related material since it’s my main job and I tend to do well in computer areas and work on some journalism/creative writing classes to help with my side-job/hobby of writing.
I have to admit, I’m apprehensive about the meeting. Although I can’t say for certain why.
I also want to get enough financial aid to pick up a MacBook Pro for school. I’ve had Windows machines for decades, and I can tell everyone I tend to focus more on the subject while working on a Mac than a Windows box for some reason. For example: Writing on a Windows machine ends up with me looking through Wikipedia for strange crap not related to the writing research, while writing on a Mac had me 60,000 words in a month for NaNoWriMo. I’m convinced it couldn’t be accomplished with a Windows box. Right now, my budget doesn’t allow for a MacBook, unless I hook a bluetooth keyboard and mouse up to my iPad, which is great for notes, but difficult (especially without an external keyboard) for writing longer instances.
Primarily I want to go back to school to learn some of the newer technologies in Computer Science and Engineering fields and fill in all the little gaps for writing. The rest of it can go to hell.
No offense.
-Still-nervous-ly,
-me
By now you may have noticed some of the posts I write on here have pictures and most of them are text only, this is due to the format or medium in which the post is written. If I’m writing on my blackberry or android galaxy 2S or even the iPad, I don’t bother with pics, but if I’m on a laptop, desktop or MacBook, then I try to google image something tasty you guys can view. Sometimes its relevant, sometime it’s complete random.
Right now I’m sitting on the front porch in my RedWings jersey enjoying the cool fall air while scrivener installs on my MacBook. That’s right, I splurged and spent some of my Viggle points on iTunes cards and bought a copy of scrivener to go with the rest of my writing goodness.
I have a few ideas for two more “Fates” novellas before I get to work on another novel, however its nice to have a solid writing tool at my disposal. Usually I write on anything and everything I can between all the different devices I carry around, from notepad to Word and everything in between; including sending emails to myself with strange ideas.
I’ll be keeping everyone up to date on how things progress as usual, for you 12 people who read this, but I wanted to brag that I actually have real writing software now.
It must be the geek in me, but I’m more excited than I have been in awhile, so it must be a good thing.
Gotta-pee-ly,
-me
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